A word about Empathy
The word empathy is ubiquitous in UX circles. There are countless posts, articles, podcast episodes and conferences with empathy in the title. But may there be a better word that could replace it, that has been used since at least the 1600s.
Sympathy.
Let me define the two words. Empathy is the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within their frame of reference, that is, the capacity to place oneself in another's position.
Sympathy is a feeling of sincere concern for someone who is experiencing something difficult or painful
Empathy requires actively sharing in the person's emotional experience. Here lies the core of my argument: empathy is an unattainable ideal. Can anyone truly grasp what another person is going through? Each person's experiences vary greatly, regardless of the situation. Allow me to illustrate this through two scenarios:
Scenario 1: A woman walks down a road and hears the voice of a man crying for help. She finds a man trapped in a well. He fell down into the well 2 days ago and has been trapped ever since. He is in a very sorry state. The woman having empathy for the man’s condition, climbs down into the well and joins him in his suffering.
Scenario 2: A boy walking down the same road, hears two voices crying for help. He finds a man and a woman trapped in a well. They don’t look so good, especially the man. Having sympathy and understanding their plight, he runs and fetches a ladder, rescuing them. Sympathy results in compassion; one is moved to help someone.
In order to be compassionate, you need to take the perspective of someone else. However, the term empathy suggests that we can actually inhabit the reality of another person through our imagination. In scenario 1, the woman cannot truly empathize with the man in the well, despite being trapped alongside him. Their experiences differ—one is a result of her own choice, while the other is an accident. One is a conscious decision, while the other is mere coincidence.
Sympathy is a better word because it recognizes its limits and maintains the distance and perspective needed to help. Sympathy does not surrender its position of privilege, it extends that privilege to others. The boy in scenario 2 understood very well that they were trapped and in need of help. He is in a place to help them.
Why does this matter for user-experience? It matters because plain language is beneficial to all individuals, with a particular emphasis on those frequently deprived of the chance to interact with and provide feedback on public written content. The word sympathy is something I was used to hearing back in India. When I moved to the US, empathy replaced the word sympathy. Many of my friends spoke English as their second language, which is another limiting factor. Words matter.
It matters because one of the pillars of UX is to not listen to the user and instead to pay attention to what they do. Sounds a lot like sympathy.
Much ado about nothing? Do you disagree? Email Me.